Microsoft Full Body 4, Service Pack 3

I downloaded the latest service pack from Microsoft. Automatically. First day. I shoulda known better.

I'm supposed to have better immunity from Capistrano Wren Flu, but I came down with a cold and I'm sore all over. No fever, though.

My moods are running hot and cold, although when I'm calm I'm rock solid.

After this download I'm running spell checkers constantly. Why? Because I'm now mildly dyslexic. And I stutter a little (funny to run into everyone stuttering at the call center). But my chess game seems to be improving quickly. As are my billiards and tennis games. The arthritis in my knee isn't bothering me, but that doesn't mean it isn't there.

When I docked for my morning checkup (sitting on the toilet) I learned my blood pressure is fine. Don't ask me how it checked my glaucoma, but my intraoccular pressure is fine too.

I'm now seeing better than 20/20. But I see double when I wake up. Small price to pay since I can get UltraHighDef TV under my eyelids, and you've never seen pro football like that before.

It would have been nice if they'd told me my pacemaker and liver pill are incompatible with this release. I may have to upgrade.

I just wish they'd test this stuff better. And lower the monthly subscription fees. At least the justice department isn't giving Microsoft a hard time anymore. Open Source is looking pretty good.

But I do like the convenience of having all the MS FullBody components in one subscription and one management interface. Structure, Senses, Mind, Immunity, Metab, Sex, and Glamour.

I don't use all of it, but when I do it all works together.

And tech support is getting better too.